It’s been quite a ride since my last blog where I shared my experience of stepping into living my dreams. At one level it feels like the pace of life has increased dramatically, and it has! At the same time, rather than collapsing into my old pattern of scarcity (there’s not going to be enough of me, enough time or energy) I’ve been experiencing the exhilaration that comes with being fully engaged as a co-creative partner with life!
In truth there’s a paradox here. There have been times when that feeling of exhilaration has been so intoxicating I’ve recognized (sometimes not ‘til after I’ve gone over the edge!) that I’ve not been paying attention to those signals from my body that it’s time to stop and breathe. Rather than taking time to stop and attend, I’ve noticed a tendency to race on (kind of like a kid exploring a new adventure) and not notice the messages my body would have given me – if only I’d stopped to listen.
So the question arose – how do I create a practice that is organic and will support me in my desire to live here gently AND powerfully?!
One morning I woke and found myself breathing deeply as I prepared to enter my day. I wanted to ground myself in my intention to spend my day in the service of life. Even at that time I could feel some tightness in my back – a familiar sensation, one that for me signalled a guarding of my resources against the expectation that I’d ‘need to’ give out more than I’d receive. And I remembered the words of my partner when I’d spoken that fear as I stepped into this journey. He’d said “Connect with to your Source.”
So I did. I dropped in to that deep sense of connection with all that is, and breathed. At first I simply followed my breath, taking the air in as deeply as I could, and then releasing it. As I did that, a couple of phrases I’ve used for some years now to describe that connection came to mind.
The first – I am the beloved child of God – a phrase that evokes for me a sense of being held and loved; a feeling of leaning back, resting into and being held by arms that surround and support me.
The second, perhaps more obscure phrase – I am daughter of Ra – came to me 5 years ago in Egypt when I was standing beside a row of sphinxes outside the temple at Karnak. There’s a much longer story than this, which maybe I’ll share one day. The short version is that there, as our guide was speaking about these sphinxes (head of a ram, body of a lion – conjoining wisdom and power) I felt moving through my body a power like I’d never before experienced; one that I have been opening to living into ever since.
And so that morning I breathed, on each inbreath resting into the sense of being the beloved child of God, with each outbreath standing in the power of being daughter of Ra.
This was cool, I thought, and then I started to play with the breath and the words. What if as I breathed in, I repeated one of the phrases, and as I breathed out, I breathed the air out through my chakras – the back ones focused on receiving, and the front ones focused on giving? I wondered what phrases would come to me as I did that?
I played for a while, and won’t go into the whole process of the emergence of the phrases, but I will share them with you – not that I think there’s ‘magic’ in any of these words, my guess is that any of you who actually try this will feel your own words coming to you. I’d love to hear what emerges for you!
This has become for me a kind of guided meditation. A grounding, centering, opening exercise that leaves me feeling both energized and empowered to engage in my day. In fact I stopped for a bit and breathed as I started writing this blog. I recognized I was feeling a bit of adrenalin buzz. I was thinking my writing, and my intention in this writing is to let it emerge!
For a few minutes I lay down and in breathing through what has now become my cycle, I connected deeply with my Source.
In this first part of the cycle I focus on receiving.
I am the beloved child of God ……. I rest supported and surrounded (this out breath focusing on my lower back chakras)
I am the beloved child of God ……. I rest treasured and adored (this out breath my focus is on the back of my heart chakra)
I am the beloved child of God ……. I rest known and loved (this one breathing out through my back 5th and 6th chakras)
I then turn to the second part of the cycle where while still opening to receiving, my focus is on giving.
I am daughter of Ra ……. I stand opening to possibility (really feeling the energy enter my crown, and breathing out through the front of chakras 5 and 6)
I am daughter of Ra ……. I stand opening to love (this one breathing out the front of my heart chakra)
I am daughter of Ra ……. I stand opening to power (this last one breathing out the front of my lower chakras)
Of course, since I’m still new at playing with this, I often find myself wandering off in my thoughts, but I don’t spend time worrying about that! As soon as I notice, I simply start the cycle again. I’m practicing staying with this breathing for as long as feels true – until I feel that combination of being grounded, and sensing the surge of the wave of creative energies of life flowing through my body. Then I’m ready to re-engage with life, ‘surfing’ that wave, being responsive to it, and allowing its flow through me to guide and direct where I focus my attention.
Part of me isn’t sure this will make sense to anyone else, but it’s been SUCH a potent practice it feels important to share it. Again, it’s not that you should feel the need to use my words, rather, that you’d play with your own connection and see what emerges. I’d love to hear what does!