I was at the end of a l-o-n-g day. A series of remarkable phone calls during which a couple of the groups of us working with Lissa Boles had explored and reflected in deeply resonant, deliciously nuanced ways (more about that later.) This was followed by several hours of sitting at my computer doing bookkeeping (the kind of administrivia I definitely don’t find delicious!)
By that evening, Bruce and I were both ready for some relaxing time watching pre-recordings of our favourite TV show. But when I went to sit beside him on the sofa, there was NO way I could sit still again – every bit of me protested – there was no missing it!
I love win-wins! Moments later (and for the whole next show) I was like Tigger, happily bouncing, rocking, stretching, m-o-v-i-n-g on that big, bouncy, exercise ball – my substitute for Tigger’s tail!
AND, I discovered a deeper, in-my-body, experience of an aha from the call I referred to earlier. On that call with Lissa and company, we’d been exploring first a deeply painful, then a deeply satisfying experience. Though the process itself felt very familiar, I was struck by how UN-familiar, it was for me to reflect deeply on an experience that wasn’t associated with dis-ease.
More than that, the satisfying memory that had surfaced for me was one from my childhood. A memory of what we called “tumbling picnics”. These were accompanied by a sense of sheer joy and unbridled delight. Special occasions that punctuated what seemed like the much longer periods of real life which felt much more serious to me – little room for fun or play.
I realized how much less attuned I am to attending to reflecting on, intentionally creating and engaging in the fun and the delightful. And I’ve deepened my commitment to become much more familiar with and related to that younger part of me that’s wanting to express herself more fully in my life – the part that feels like my inner Tigger!
So – particularly while I’m new and not so skilled at this – a request. I’d love it if you’d both encourage my bouncing, and excuse me if I unexpectedly, unintentionally bounce on you. I promise I’ll get better at this! 🙂