No one would make the crocuses wrong for responding to their natural, inate urgings, and the warm, moist environment they found themselves in which they found themselves in my garden and opening their beautiful blooms.
And yet, when I find myself (re)experiencing a familiar cycle – particularly those less comfortable ones – is that I often make myself wrong, and sometimes feel deep shame. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this one.
Rather than wondering what it would look and feel like to express our essential sleves here now in this situation, in this iteration of the cycle, we tend to go to the more familiar “What’s wrong with me, why can’t I get this?!”
After the call I took some time to process what had happened. I wanted to be able to quickly shift from that tense anticipation of a slapdown, into a way of being that was open to receiving, and able to harvest any wisdom embedded in the feedback.
I remembered the experience of a friend who was involved in a head-on collision. She said to me “I saw the car coming. I knew we were going to crash. And what popped into my head was – bumper cars!” Rather than tensing her body for the crash, she completely relaxed and emerged unhurt.
My younger self loved the idea and we’ve been ‘practicing’ with this cycle! When I feel my body tightening, I remind myself “Bumper cars!” There’s an inner smile that invites my body into relaxation, curiosity and openness.