Earlier this week, after watching a TV show that turned out to be ‘darker’ than I’d anticipated, I found myself feeling off-center with feelings of fear and sadness swirling in me. I have a fierce commitment to expanding my capacity to choose my responses to life, and yet here I was having this powerful reaction to what seemed like a fairly innocuous trigger!
|Brian Andreas’ powerful Story People image – Legacy. We will walk together … until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love
I turned to Bruce and shared what I could access in that moment. With tears running unbidden down my cheeks I spoke of the ache I was feeling in my chest. I know there is pain in our world. I am clear that we as human beings dishonour ourselves and each other – sometimes in unspeakable ways. And yet …. I also know the power of love – and the transformation that’s possible when love is present.
But at that moment, even though I could speak those words, I couldn’t access the feeling of possibility. The weight of the darkness felt too great for me to hold on my own. I became exquisitely aware of my need for community.
In honouring my humanity, I needed the company of others who held that possibility. Others who would gently and powerfully hold both me as I allowed the pain of that moment to move through me, and remind me of what I DID know to be true.
Every moment has embedded in it a precious opportunity! What I discovered in this particular painful moment was the gift of a deepening of my commitment to a knowing deep in my bones so powerfully captured in Brian Andreas’ image Legacy:
there in NO ONE
among us who
does not know
there is no future
|Celebrating my 60th Birthday this summer with two of my Evolutionary Partners –
Aline and Birgit!
There are others who may from time to time dip their toe into the idea of developing RICH Relationship skills. In those relationships, offering to share our experiences (and respecting either a ‘yes’, or ‘no thanks’ response) or sharing our perspective if invited, are both appropriate. But we open ourselves to disappointment if we expect the same kind of support from these people as Evolutionary Partners offer us.
Evolutionary Partners make up this third category of community – what I’m calling True Community. In addition to seeing and celebrating us, and reminding us of the things we know to be true, there’s another powerful gift those with whom we have this relationship can commit to – that of holding a shared intention. While I don’t claim to understand ‘how’ it works, something powerful happens when we come together and support each other in our intentions.
For these and many other reasons, while I love 1:1 coaching, I’ll be offering the beta of my ‘baby’ project I spoke of in an eNews last month in a group format starting in a couple weeks, and repeating it in January – opening up registration to this one more widely. For now, I’d so value your holding those of us engaging in the beta with the intention that we will co-create a powerful space of love and possibility as we explore Relationship Treasures Hidden in Plain Sight!
And to all of you in our Realizing RICH Relationships community, I’m wondering about your experience? Have you thought about the different ‘levels’ or contexts of connections you have? Are you intentional about showing up as fully your essential selves as you can, while considering the ways each relationship might be calling you to show up in different ways? And have you noticed ways that if we don’t pay attention to this we might create more challenges for ourselves?!
How about True Community? Is this something you experience a lot of? Might nurturing more of these kinds of RICH relationships (and the skills to navigate them!) be something that might seem worthwhile?