I remember a pediatrician years ago reassuring me that all kids doeventually sleep through the night, become toilet trained, and learn table manners! That reassurance was important. It reminded me to relax and allow the uniqueness of each of my babies to be expressed, and was part of what allowed them to become the wonderful young adults they now are. (See the photo below!)In one of those lightbulb moments this week, I heard those words I started with today coming back to me as I turned to a friend (an evolutionary partner kind of friend) to help me explore a question that had surfaced in my awareness.
I came to her with a familiar wondering and relied on our shared commitment to never bullshit each other, instead to always stand for the fullest expression of the other. That familiar question was “Am I missing something here?!” I couldn’t see that I was, but there was that feeling no doubt familiar to many of you who have a fierce commitment to following the call of your life. That sense of seeing what else is possible, and knowing I’m not ‘there’ – yet.
At the same time, I’ve become exquisitely aware of the the backdrop of the underlying chatter that was an almost imperceptible soundtrack of ‘not enough-ness’ or ‘could have done better’ that has been running through much of my life … it’s a subtle distinction to be able to hold that curious ‘what else is possible?’ question, without running that old tape.
For the last several weeks since that moment of dawning awareness, I’ve been mentoring myself into the deeper truth through focusing on what’s for me become a
powerful intention. “I am in each moment both as profoundly present, and the fullest expression of me I can be, and I honour my humanity by allowing that to be enough.”
In my dilemma this week, I could see both of these clearly – that more is possible, and that what’s now is enough – AND, in some way I also felt a bit stuck, see-sawing between these two polarities and not able to find stable ground.
It’s in this kind of moment the perspective offered by true community can be really powerful – that’s when I called my friend.After listening to me share what was happening for me, she paused for a moment, and then, in a quiet voice, said “What I’m hearing is there’s nothing ‘wrong’ here, it’s all unfolding in perfect time. You’ll get there when you get there. Your work is to be where you’re at now, and allow that to be enough. Others may already be ‘there’, and their path is their path. They’re learning other things now that are already a natural part of your life.”
And I took a deep breath and relaxed – once again back here in the ‘now’, no longer comparing my journey with others. Doing so leads me into feeling envious of those who seem ‘ahead’ of me, or frustrated with those who seem ‘behind’, and that serves none of us!
What a relief to re-member – to get again, this time more deeply in my body – that notion of “the list”. We really are all learning at the pace and in the order that is most appropriate for each of our lives.
Particularly for those of us who have a tendency to feel driven, I offer this excerpt from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX on Saturday, April 20th, 2002 “The only thing that ever matters in success or achievement is your achieving the things that you want to achieve. So if you are setting standards and you’re feeling uncomfortable about the standards that you’ve set, tweak the standards back a little bit. Ratchet it back a notch. Give yourself a break. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Lighten up. Be easier. Go slower. Take it easy. Have more fun. Love yourself more. Laugh more. Appreciate more. All is well. You can’t get it wrong. You never get it done.“