I recently received this from a client …
“It’s been 4 years since I left my marriage. My former husband refused to complete a separation agreement until the house sold, and that only happened this summer. He continues to try to bully and control me to get things his way.
I’ve often wondered – I’m a great manifestor and spiritual healer, how come this house isn’t selling?
Over the last 3 1/2 years as Maralyn and I have worked together, though he continues to try and get things his way, I’ve really changed. I now value myself and my worth, and his threats no longer have power over me.
When I first left my 28 year marriage, I would not have been strong enough to stand in the power of my value. I’m no longer willing to bow down and accept crumbs. I’m now ready to stand for what’s rightfully mine.
It’s through this work that I got the backbone, strength and courage to stand up to my ex-husband who both in our marriage, and now in our divorce has played out the role of my alcoholic father, and my mother who was a narcissistic bully and constantly bullied me to comply.
For so many years I lived out of the false beliefs – I’m alone, I’m not safe, I’m not worthy, I’m not lovable, I’m not good enough, I’m bad. I’ve created new patterns to replace the ones I developed in my childhood.
In keeping my first attention on myself I’ve come to really love and honour who I am as a human being. I’ve expanded my capacity to trust in and believe myself. I’ve reclaimed my birthright to have wants and needs, and to articulate them in a way that can be heard and not discounted.
I’ve created a circle of friends who support and honour me, including a wonderful partner who is matching and meeting me at a whole other level.
I continue to deepen my trust that life will support me – even here as I face the unknown.
It’s now easy to see the value of the house not having sold sooner. I wouldn’t have been ready to stand as I can now. It’s amazing to feel I can stand here with a grounded strength and a lightness, and not crumble anymore.”
As I read these words, I felt such satisfaction and appreciation for the gift of partnering her through this journey. Her story points to so many of the principles I stand for. Here are a few of them:
- Though there are many times we might love it to be so, this isn’t presto-changeo, one-off, waving a magic wand thing. This work is a developmental process – the practices are simple, and life offers us many opportunities to get stronger and clearer.
- While grounded in good theory, these aren’t just good ideas. We engage these practical practices right where the challenges of life show up.
- It doesn’t take long to experience greater freedom of choice and possibility, but when the patterns that no longer serve us are ones we’ve been living our lives out of for years, real embodied transformation of identity requires a fierce commitment to ourselves – over time.
- We humans are not created to live in isolation! Having a community of support as we engage these practices makes all the difference.
- Often we can only understand life in retrospect – and sometimes not even then. Here are a couple perspectives that can make a big difference – even when we can’t see how or why something is happening. A big one is don’t make ourselves or the situation ‘wrong’, instead, assuming that in some way we’re being invited into a fuller expression of who we came here to be. The other is be curious. As we scan our environment, trust that the resources we need are there for us somewhere – even though sometimes not in the form we’d hoped to find them!
|Growing strong together – Image courtesy of cooldesign FreeDigitalPhotos.net|
The fact that we’re facing challenges in life does NOT mean we’re slow, or bad,
After the last Relationship Treasures Hidden in Plain Sight program ended, a number of participants said, “this was great, and it’s clear there are more possibilities here. We also loved the support from being together as a group. What else can we do?!” This was one of those “I don’t know, let me think about it” moments. What has emerged is the first beta version of Diving Deeper. It’ll run from September through December.
- 2 monthly 90 minute small group calls 7:00-8:30 pm ET on the first and third Thursday of each month
- access to the recordings of these calls
- 1 monthly thirty minute 1:1 coaching call scheduled at a mutually convenient time
- reduced rates for any additional 1:1 coaching.
I’ll continue to host our no-cost At Home with Maralyn & Friends calls on the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month, so if they choose, those who join the Diving Deeper beta can have direct access to me for 5.5 hours a month.
If you’re feeling a stirring inside, or a sense of being drawn or curious, if you’ve questions, or if you want to raise your hand and say “Yes, I want to join you in Diving Deeper!”, please be in touch with me by clicking here.