Many years ago, before the days of the GPS, my Daddy and I were in the car going somewhere in Barbados – our home country. It’s a small island, just 21 miles long, and 14 miles wide, and Daddy was very familiar with the roads. Surprisingly to me, Daddy was uncertain.

As we came to an old man walking along the road, Daddy stopped and asked whether the road would take us to our destination. Without skipping a beat, the old man responded “Skippa, wuh eva yuh wan ta go, dis road wud tek yuh deh!”

The road in Barbados, bordered by sugar cane, that would take us “wuh eva” we wanted to go!

In case it’s needed, here’s the translation – “This road will take you wherever you want to go!”

I’ve never forgotten the magic of that moment, and until I was thinking about writing this eNews, I didn’t think there was any situation where that line could be used.

While I’ve always known in my bones  that it needed to be there, the “C” in the acronym R-I-C-H in RICH Relationships, has at times been a challenging concept to stand for. It’s easy for the notion of the Courage to Celebrate What Is to be misinterpreted and at times taken offense at.

My friend and colleague Aine Dee says: “It helps to have a scout who’s been where you are and gone where you want to go. And that’s what all of us will be for our ideal clients. That’s the very essence of your soulful pioneering business. You have to go where you’ve never been to help others do the same. And not just once…”

 It’s pretty easy when things are going well, but why would we even think of ‘celebrating what is’ when (as we all do) we have experiences that are uncomfortable and we don’t want? Celebrate situations that are painful – scary, sad, frustrating, terrifying, or not going as we’d imagined or hoped?

I’ve heard the responses. Some mildly disbelieving – you’re wearing rose coloured glasses, that’s asking too much; maybe you can do this, but you can’t expect us to! Others more angry – you’re out of touch with reality, that’s a suggestion that ‘blames the victim’ and ‘reinforces the trauma’.

Aine is right. The only reason I can stand here and speak about ‘celebrating what is’ is that I’ve been to those painful places – many times. In fact yesterday was the 26th anniversary of one of the most painful of those times – the arrival in our world of my daughter.

Becoming pregant AFTER having had a tubal ligation was a terrifying experience. It was clear to me that in order to handle the presence of another baby I would have to drastically change who I was and how I was being in my life, and I had NO idea how to do that. At 35 I was just beginning my conscious personal growth journey, and Rachael’s presence catapulted me into that journey. Sometimes, the abundance of Life (or God, Source, Universe – whatever name is true for you) looks very different from anything we might imagine! One of the most important things I began to learn through this situation is this:

Like that road my Daddy and I were travelling on, even when we’re uncertain or don’t know ‘how’, our response of “Yes, and …” to whatever Life has handed us is the road that keeps the story of our lives moving in the direction of our hearts’ deepest desires.

An improv sketch moves quickly, and though it’s a completely understandable human response, ANY “No, I can’t be me here”, or “This shouldn’t be happening to me” shuts the whole thing down. Thankfully, although the situation may evolve making some options no longer available to us, as long as we’re alive, we always have the opportunity to shift or change our responses.

Even though my pregnancy was a shock, I’m thankful I chose to say “Yes” to it. However that doesn’t mean I was ‘happy’ or in any way celebrating. But even here at the beginning of my personal growth journey, I knew enough to not deny how I was feeling, or step over myself trying to make myself feel something I wasn’t. It took several months of reflecting on what was happening before I recognized the terror, and found my way to possibility – confidence that though I had no idea how, when I needed them, the resources would be there for me. Truth is, it was only on Rachael’s second birthday that I recognized I no longer felt that painfully familiar sense of “If you weren’t here, I’d be …..”.

Celebrating at her grad last year – me and my not so little ‘baby’, who’s also been one of my teachers, and partners in living, learning, and loving deeply …

I wrote on her Facebook wall for her birthday yesterday:

Happy Birthday, sweet babe! Love you SO much … then … now … forever and always, and every day in between!