This time last year we’d not long completed the second beta of the 6 session program I called Relationship Treasures Hidden in Plain Sight – an introduction to creating RICH Relationships with ourselves, others, and Life. As participants were offering their feedback, a number of them said “What’s next?!” and I answered truthfully (and with some chagrin) “At this moment, I don’t know!”.
I’ll be forever grateful for their response – “Well, when you’re ready, let us know, we want to be part of it.”
You might think I’d have gone right to work to create something. After all, here was a ready made ‘market’. But though I’ve often been impatient with myself for taking SO LONG to do things, I’m now pretty clear that trying to generate content that’s not yet ready to emerge is at best effortful and exhausting, often not very effective, and in the long run counterproductive – even damaging.
It’s a bit like being pregnant, in early labour, and trying to push the baby out before the cervix is fully dilated. There are things we can do to support and enhance the delivery process, but there’s no making it happen before it’s time!
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The creative process I engaged –
you can download a copy of this model from my website …
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I used the model above as I engaged my own work around realizing this deeply held intention. In July I wrote them saying in part “while I’m still not clear about exact content for our Diving Deeper there are several key themes that are emerging. Your encouragement and support has helped me connect deeply with the value of what we’ll be co-creating, and been pivotal in my accessing the clarity and courage I needed to say ‘yes’.”
Through August I continued to tap into the resources, and clear the path (both internal and external). And, though the form of it continued to morph as we took action and allowed for our shared vision to come into clearer focus, by September, in the company of these 6 intrepid pioneers, Season 1 of Diving Deeper began.
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The feet that brought us together!
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Since then we’ve been meeting weekly by phone (none of them live in the same city), and as we share, learn, and support each other, we’ve co-created a vibrant virtual community. But there’s nothing like in-person connection!
So when one of our members floated the idea of meeting at her home on the Eastern Shore of Maryland for a weekend retreat, we took her offer seriously, each of us checking in (internally and externally), and clearing the path for us to fulfil this deep desire.
That gathering has been this weekend – and what a RICH time we’ve shared! After the delight of meeting (many for the first time) those whose voices have become so familiar, we spent our time intentionally holding space for each other and what emerged from moment to moment. We’ve shared stories, laughed, cried, and discovered all kinds of things. We’ve enjoyed a whole range of activities, from quiet times in the hammock, to more active biking and kayaking. We’ve learned about some of the local traditions and activities, savoured some of the local delicacies (including fresh soft shell crabs – yum!), and there are many things we didn’t get to do – time flew by!
But as we continue to integrate into our lives the insights and commitments that became clear during our time together, it’s the moments of sharing hearts that have etched themselves deeply inside us, and we’ll never forget. I am more grateful than I have words, for the courage and wisdom of each of these remarkable women.
- this is the kind of place I need – a place where all of me is OK … where I can fall apart, be held, AND sing and dance!
- I’m increasing my capacity to let myself be “seen” in my vulnerability and messiness, and at the same time stand powerfully, unashamedly, fully in that place, speaking what’s true for me moment by moment.
- I’m embracing my freedom and my stuckness, and loving both the clarity and the paradox.
- I am learning to pay attention to what’s happening in my body, lovingly accepting whatever emotion I notice, and without judgment, figure out ways I can care for myself – what is it I really want here? … This kind of exquisite self care opens me to hold space for myself and others – honouring our common humanity, and trusting in the continued unfolding and support of Life regardless of the circumstances.
- This was totally worth the 10 hour drive and life rearrangements to be in the circle!
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The seven of us being treated to a waterman’s stories and
a water’s-eye-view of the Eastern Shore |