I know … this isn’t a new idea. It’s one of the practices I engage myself, and often invite you into. And, there are times when Life invites us into a re-newed and deeper relationship with these practices. Earlier this week, I realized that this one – honouring myself first, THEN others – was one I was being called to pay attention and act on.

It’s clear that I’m not the only one that Life is inviting into this honouring. SO MANY are facing incredible challenges in their lives – and in times like these the need to honour ourselves first is heightened …

But this isn’t a competition to see who’s facing the biggest challenge!


Honour yourself first – THEN others …

Honour Yourself First – THEN Others, isn’t just a slogan. It’s an invitation to all of us to discern in each moment, the action or non-action (the form) this honouring will take.

Because here’s the truth – when we don’t practice honouring ourselves first, we quickly find our reserves of resources depleted. And when that happens we’re neither in a place to honour others, nor truly free to stand and speak, or take other action in the direction of the visions of possibility that are dear to our hearts.

So here we are in this season of our lives. Those of us in the northern hemisphere are closing in on the winter solstice, and despite the frenzy of commercialization that often surrounds the holidays, for many of us there’s an inner pull to quiet reflection. I’m not pointing fingers or making anyone wrong here, each of us has visions of possibility dear to us that are unique. What I’m hoping is that you’ll pause and consider my invitation to wonder what honouring yourself first in this season might look like.

Here’s some of what I’ve been noticing as I’ve reflected. I’m feeling physically exhausted. Over the fall I’ve experienced a lot of intensity – physical, intellectual, emotional, creative. And though all the travel, learning, supporting and creativity I’ve been engaged in has felt very true and important, this week I became aware that I need to press pause.

While I’ll continue to connect with 1:1 and group clients and calls as planned next week, this’ll be the final Maralyn’s Musings for the year. During the last two weeks of December, and the first week of January, I’ll take time to connect with family and friends, and create time for reflection and writing. There are a number of ideas percolating in me, and during these weeks I want to give them both space and attention.

Standing, Expressing and Accompanying Ourselves ...
Standing to stop behaviour that is hurting others without giving into the easy urge to dehumanize the perpetrators …   

One other thing I that caught my attention last week was Time Magazine’s decision to choose “The Silence Breakers”“women whose individual acts of courage (as Time’s Deputy Editor Kira Pollack wrote) have led to the biggest cultural reckoning we’ve seen in decades” as Person of the Year.

The courage each one of these women demonstrated in risking taking their stand is a powerful first step in creating change in our world.

And our capacity to respond to their step also makes a difference. As Tad Hargrave wrote: “If you’re willing to take a stand to stop behaviour you witness that is hurting others without giving into the easy urge to punish, destroy, banish or vilify them in order to ‘purify’ the community – then things might begin to change.

The world in which we find ourselves is deeply troubled and troubling. It is a dangerous time and an endangered one. And the trouble and danger live within us too. There is the simple, pure and light-filled and fictional world of ‘Supposed To’ and then there is this is the real, messy, complicated world in which we live – full of beauty and terror. And this world is not in the way of our getting to the better tomorrow that we want. It is the way… If approached well. If approached poorly, it isn’t.

The world is waiting for our hopes to die and for our genuine, loving labour to begin.”

The “Silence Breakers” were saying “Yes” to the call of their lives. Our callings may not be as visible and attention grabbing, but each one of us experiences times when things get rough – when our saying “Yes” will require us to expand our capacity to be like these women and S-tand, E-xpress whatever is true for us, and A-ccompany ourselves as we do that. This is what we explore in the Finding Your SEA Legs program. It feels like I’m being called to offer this program again, so that’ll be one of the things I’m exploring over the next weeks.

Though I’m not taking registrations yet, clicking here will take you to a page where you can leave your contact info and I’ll be in touch with you when the timing of the next Finding Your SEA Legs program becomes clear.

As you can see, there’s plenty of possibility embedded in my pressing pause here. Honouring myself right now means time for both R&R – in my case rest and reflection! – that will support me as I continue to say “Yes” to the call of my life.

My wish for you in this holiday season is that in whatever form is true for you, you’ll do what it takes to honour you first, THEN honour those whose lives you touch. May you and those around you experience the blessings that come from this.

Remember you’ll have the chance to continue exploring these ideas with me and others in our community during our daytime, no cost, At Home with Maralyn & Friends call. We’ll gather again this Tuesday December 12 on our Maestro line at 1:00 pm ET. If you feel drawn, I’d love to hear your voice then. To register, click here.

Photo credit – Hand, heart, world – Dollar photo Club 89974234

Nurturing juicy co-creative partnerships
…with ourselves, others & life!