[If you’ve been following this series of Musings that started with “Please Stop”, and its follow up … It’s More Than Just the Words, as well as Exploring Safety, and Honouring Our Humanity, you may well be as ready for this Musing as I am!]

As the series of Musings linked above show, in saying ‘yes’ to the call of my life, over the last couple months I’ve been working intentionally and intensively. And there have been times when for me, and I suspect many in our community, what’s been happening in the wider world has been challenging to hold.

In listening to my inner world, as the machinations of the Christine Ford/Brett Kavanaugh hearing and FBI investigation continued to unfold, I noticed my inner five year old was again feeling both activated and exhausted.  She’s the one who (though at five she had no language to articulate it) experienced the first moment of passionate horror when she recognized the very different way girls and boys were treated. I’ve again been ‘hearing’ from her the painfully familiar refrain “What kind of world am I living in?!”

And in conversations with other kindred spirited people, I’ve been hearing this from them as well.

	The passion that’s been there in me since I was very young – the part of me that even before I had language for it innately knew that freedom, fairness, and equality of access – has led me and many of us, to stand here ... even when our voices are minimized or dismissed

Earlier this week I became aware that my being ‘on high alert’ had left me feeling tired – physically weary, with moments of asking “What’s the point? Nothing’s changing. I’m tired of this!”

In sharing this with my coach, after acknowledging how I was feeling, she wondered out loud whether this situation might be calling me to press pause for a while. “What would it be like for you to stop working and take some time off?”

As soon as the idea of pressing pause had been floated, those tired parts of me breathed a sigh of relief. But there were also parts that were concerned about what would happen if I did that. And figuring parts who immediately began thinking about the logistics of what doing that might look like.

Going to bed that night there were many overwrought voices in the inner discussion, and not much capacity for listening! Thankfully I was able to access enough fierce loving presence to remind all those parts that this was time for sleep, not for making decisions – that we would come back to this in the morning – and there was enough trust that I would for them to settle!

After a good sleep, and in the light of the next day I woke recognizing what pausing in this moment meant for me – particularly with regard to writing this Musing. I’d planned to write about honouring the humanity of others (an important topic to explore), but with all that’s going on, I realized that right now, where my heart was being called was to this writing – exploring another aspect of honouring our own humanity.

Another thing that came to mind that morning, was a saying I’ve long heard, and often used …

Trust in God, and tie up your camel.

It’s not enough to just say “trust in God” or as I’ve also heard lots “let go and let God” … we are co-creators with God (or Life as I usually say) and we have our part to play in the unfolding of life. I recently found that Annie Wright has written a great blog exploring this idea that you might want to have a look at.

Later that morning as I shared my experience with two dear friends and colleagues – Cara Brown and Lyn Allen, I realized this moment wasn’t calling me to stop and take time out. Instead it was an invitation for me to make a fierce commitment to myself to consider what changes in the structures – the form and rhythm – in my personal and work life would best serve me now?

Since then, a few things have become clear, and I’ve no doubt as I continue to consider what ‘tieing up my camel’ means at this point in my life, I’ll have more to share.

Where can you find delight today? What can you notice that you can be grateful for –   both in the delightful and the challenging?

Perhaps ironically, as this Musing is being published Sunday evening, I’ll be gathering with my extended family (there’ll be 17 of us around the table!) celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving!

While the political machinations in Washington continue, and in the many other places in our world where freedom, fairness and equality definitely do not exist, the other thing Today, I’m again recognizing, is how critical it is for us to recognize and acknowledge the MANY points of beauty, kindness, laughter and delight that co-exist right alongside the challenging.

I’m reminded of that Jack Gilbert poem I have quoted from before … though I’m particularly thinking of the lines below. (The link above takes you to a beautiful reading of the whole poem.)

We must have